Good morning Brothers and Sisters,
What a beautiful morning this is. I feel blessed to have this opportunity to share a few thoughts with you. When Bishop called me at 6:30 this morning, I thought to myself, are meetings cancelled? A smile came across my face. Many of you may know that we hold meetings in the morning starting at 6:45AM. Well, for me they were cancelled. Instead, I would be given a special assignment …..to prepare a talk to share with you.
Brothers and sisters, we are all here today because at one time in our lives, we felt the Spirit. It may have been when the missionaries asked us to pray to know the truthfulness of the Gospel. It may have been when we read the scriptures. It may have been when you lived the principles of the Gospel and you received blessing for doing so. Well, conversely, have you had one of those days in your lives when you felt inadequate and unprepared, or when doubt and confusion entered your spirit? It may have been when a loved one had passed away, or when you were going through a particularly tough trial. Elder Neil Anderson, in his October 2008 general conference address states “Part of our victory as disciples of Christ is what we do when these feeling come.”
As many of you may know, my father recently passed away. He was a convert to this church in his 20’s. He was a nuclear physicist and then a chiropractor. He was proud of his academic achievements. But even more important to him was his spiritual knowledge. We’ve been cleaning out his home office and I came across a binder full of his talks that he shared as a High Councilman. But even my father, who remained faithful his entire life, went through trials, and had days when doubt and confusion entered his spirit. I recall as he lay in the hospital, holding my hand, my father asking me “Why? Why do I have to suffer like this.” Why would he, a man who’s faith never wavered, be asked to bear so much? I did not know how to answer this. In Nephi’s words: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” I know that although my father suffered tremendously, he was equally blessed.. He was loved by our Heavenly Father. And for my father, I’m sure that the spiritual knowledge that his Heavenly Father loved him was sufficient for his doubt to be replaced with faith.
As we face challenges and trials in our lives, we need to remember, that although we don’t know everything, we know enough. A week and a half ago, we had the opportunity to have the missionaries in our home. We were able to talk about missionary work and Elder Rusch asked me what I found difficult about sharing the Gospel. I told him that fear was one of the things that I found to difficult. Fear of being rejected. The elders invited me to just follow the Spirit when I felt prompted. And so that evening, I went to visit a close friend and his wife. And as we were chatting, the discussion turned to religion. And during this discussion, I felt prompted to invite them to meet with the missionaries. But it was difficult. I began to doubt and I hesitated. And then I made a decision. I decided to be faithful instead of fearful. So I asked them and they accepted. We haven’t set a time up yet, but that is the next step.
Elder Anderson states “Challenges, difficulties, questions, doubts—these are part of our mortality. But we are not alone. As disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, we have enormous spiritual reservoirs of light and truth available to us. Fear and faith cannot coexist in our hearts at the same time. In our days of difficulty, we choose the road of faith. Jesus said, “Be not afraid, only believe.”4
On Wednesday, my paternal grandfather passed away at the age of 93. He was an active member of this church and I recall attending church with him as a child here in the US. I remember he would carry a Chinese hymn book with him to church. Not every song was translated into Chinese, so he had created a chart in the front of his hymn book that matched the English page numbers with his Chinese page numbers. He would sit in Sacrament meeting, and although he didn’t understand English, he would love to sing with the congregation, except he would be singing in Chinese. My grandmother, who is also in her 90’s, also is a member of the church.
Earlier this month, my cousin, who lives in AZ, sent me an email. She explained that a High Councilman spoke in her Sacrament meeting that Sunday and shared a page out of his father-in-law’s mission journal. He shared about the conversion story of my grandmother. And I wanted to share that with you today.
~Faye Chan Conversion/Pioneer Story~
I was born in the early 1900 in the People Republic of China under the rule of Ching Dynesty. My father owned lands and we also had a business in making brick shingles. I was the oldest of 6 children: 3 girls and 3 boys. Ours was a traditional patriarchal home. We lived as a big family with all the aunts and uncles together.. My uncle was the oldest in our home and because he did not feel that women should go to school, I was not allowed to attend school. He believed knowledge for a woman would bring her a hard life! I was brought up to believe in God: a God that hear my prayers and grant my wishes if I am obedience. In Buddhism, we had many Gods: a kitchen god, an earth god, a heavenly God. We even worshiped our ancestors and prayed to them for guidance. I was married when I was 16 in a prearranged marriage to my husband. A matchmaker from the village came to our home to propose marriage. My father agreed to the marriage because I was to be married into a more prosperous family who owned lots more lands. I married into a family that had over 70 people in it and I was in charge of the kitchen. I was only 17 and I prayed to God (the Kitchen God) to help me prepare food for over 70 each day. I learned patience during those early years of marriage. You see, even though I was in charge of the kitchen and the food, I was always the last one to eat.
My life changed in the mid 40’s. Revolution broke out in China and with Communist took over China; all the landowners were to be punished. I was imprisoned because my husband was away in Hong Kong for business and my mother-in-law was in her 70’s and was too old to be put in jail. I was beaten, whipped and hanged 2 stories high. The soldiers, many of who were my friends, also made me crawled and barked like a dog and paraded through town. My hands and knees bled, I wanted to die! After I was released from jail, my family and I were constantly mocked because we were “rich”. I walked by a river one day and wanted to jump into it so that I could end all the pain but I couldn’t because I had three children at home that needed me. I remembered praying fervently to heaven that I might have the strength to endure the pain and humiliation, and that the only wish I had at the time was to return the children to their father in Hong Kong safely.
My prayers were answered. Two years later, we were allowed to travel to Hong Kong and to be reunited with my husband. My husband had business ventures that seemed to always go sour. We were never “rich” and we continued to be humbled through trials and circumstances of life. However, in retrospect, we were always blessed. My oldest son graduated from High School and instead of going to Taiwan to college, he felt impressed he should come to America instead. We were able to save and borrow enough money to get him ticket to come here to the United States. He was able to support himself once he arrived here even though we were not able to help him financially.
Unknown to me, the greatest blessing came when my son, David, joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-Saints when he was 18. David was a difficult child. He was always talking back, and never willing to do what he was told. He announced one day that he had met two missionaries and he was going to be baptized into this Church. Even though we were not Christian, I had continued to pray to the Gods in Heaven to help me raise my children. I thought to myself that may be joining a church would make him a better person. When my husband found out that David was baptizing into the Mormon Church, he was worried. You see, Mormon in Chinese has the same tone and sound of the word Devil! He did not want his son to join the devil’s church so he wrote to my oldest son in America, hoping that he would convince his younger brother to leave the church. In order to find out what his younger brother was getting into, my older son investigated the church here in America and soon followed his younger brother and became a member of the church.
Over the years, my sons by then had both came to America, would come home to visit and brought their younger sisters to church. They tried to convince me that I should not worship Buddha, but I couldn’t. The God in Heaven had blessed me all those years and I could not betray my family tradition. In 1976, my oldest son Austin graduated from Brigham Young University with a Doctorate Degree in Physic. My husband came to America and spent six months in Utah with his family. The first word after he returned to Hong Kong was that “we are going to church”.. We visited the Church the next Sunday and then two Sister missionaries visited us the following weeks and taught us the gospel. During the discussions, we were challenged to read the Book of Mormon and to pray to Heavenly Father. I was not able to read but I began to pray to Heavenly Father as they had taught me. My prayers about joining the Church were answered by the visitation of Peter, James, and John in a dream. In the dream, they told me that I would not be forsaking my family tradition by joining the church. In fact, I would be worshiping the true God that I had been praying to all of my life and that my family would be together forever and I would be truly honoring my ancestors because we will be able to be sealed as a family for time and eternity just as God had promised. My two younger daughters, my husband and I were baptized into the Church December 15, 1976.
I have been truly blessed by a Heavenly Father who loves me! Even though I had to suffer physical pain and emotional abuse, I know they were done because of the wickedness of men. Even though I am still suffering from the pain today, I want to say that it was a purifying process for me to learn to forgive others for what they had done. I am blessed to be here to be among the Saints of Zion. I could not have imagined being born and raised in China many years ago and now have the privilege to be here in the Promised Land today and to enjoy the freedom that we are blessed with. I bear you my testimony that God lives and He hears our prayers and answers them.
My grandma wasn’t formally educated. But she knew enough. Even though she went through pain and suffering, she knew her HF loved her. She knew enough.
Brian Chan
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